Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts

Friday, February 5, 2010

The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination, by JK Rowling


source: slow muse


surfing online leads you to different places and i am glad i found this speech given by JK rowling - her address to Harvard Graduates ('08). i teared up and it made my heart hurt. you may watch the video here, but i think the text is just as moving.



President Faust, members of the Harvard Corporation and the Board of Overseers, members of the faculty, proud parents, and, above all, graduates.

The first thing I would like to say is ‘thank you.’ Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honour, but the weeks of fear and nausea I have endured at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight. A win-win situation! Now all I have to do is take deep breaths, squint at the red banners and convince myself that I am at the world’s largest Gryffindor reunion.

Delivering a commencement address is a great responsibility; or so I thought until I cast my mind back to my own graduation. The commencement speaker that day was the distinguished British philosopher Baroness Mary Warnock. Reflecting on her speech has helped me enormously in writing this one, because it turns out that I can’t remember a single word she said. This liberating discovery enables me to proceed without any fear that I might inadvertently influence you to abandon promising careers in business, the law or politics for the giddy delights of becoming a gay wizard.

You see? If all you remember in years to come is the ‘gay wizard’ joke, I’ve come out ahead of Baroness Mary Warnock. Achievable goals: the first step to self improvement.

Actually, I have wracked my mind and heart for what I ought to say to you today. I have asked myself what I wish I had known at my own graduation, and what important lessons I have learned in the 21 years that have expired between that day and this.
I have come up with two answers. On this wonderful day when we are gathered together to celebrate your academic success, I have decided to talk to you about the benefits of failure. And as you stand on the threshold of what is sometimes called ‘real life’, I want to extol the crucial importance of imagination.

These may seem quixotic or paradoxical choices, but please bear with me.
Looking back at the 21-year-old that I was at graduation, is a slightly uncomfortable experience for the 42-year-old that she has become. Half my lifetime ago, I was striking an uneasy balance between the ambition I had for myself, and what those closest to me expected of me.

I was convinced that the only thing I wanted to do, ever, was to write novels. However, my parents, both of whom came from impoverished backgrounds and neither of whom had been to college, took the view that my overactive imagination was an amusing personal quirk that would never pay a mortgage, or secure a pension. I know that the irony strikes with the force of a cartoon anvil, now.

So they hoped that I would take a vocational degree; I wanted to study English Literature. A compromise was reached that in retrospect satisfied nobody, and I went up to study Modern Languages. Hardly had my parents’ car rounded the corner at the end of the road than I ditched German and scuttled off down the Classics corridor.
I cannot remember telling my parents that I was studying Classics; they might well have found out for the first time on graduation day. Of all the subjects on this planet, I think they would have been hard put to name one less useful than Greek mythology when it came to securing the keys to an executive bathroom.

I would like to make it clear, in parenthesis, that I do not blame my parents for their point of view. There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you. What is more, I cannot criticise my parents for hoping that I would never experience poverty. They had been poor themselves, and I have since been poor, and I quite agree with them that it is not an ennobling experience. Poverty entails fear, and stress, and sometimes depression; it means a thousand petty humiliations and hardships. Climbing out of poverty by your own efforts, that is indeed something on which to pride yourself, but poverty itself is romanticised only by fools.

What I feared most for myself at your age was not poverty, but failure.
At your age, in spite of a distinct lack of motivation at university, where I had spent far too long in the coffee bar writing stories, and far too little time at lectures, I had a knack for passing examinations, and that, for years, had been the measure of success in my life and that of my peers.

I am not dull enough to suppose that because you are young, gifted and well-educated, you have never known hardship or heartbreak. Talent and intelligence never yet inoculated anyone against the caprice of the Fates, and I do not for a moment suppose that everyone here has enjoyed an existence of unruffled privilege and contentment.

However, the fact that you are graduating from Harvard suggests that you are not very well-acquainted with failure. You might be driven by a fear of failure quite as much as a desire for success. Indeed, your conception of failure might not be too far from the average person’s idea of success, so high have you already flown.
Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears that my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.

Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution. I had no idea then how far the tunnel extended, and for a long time, any light at the end of it was a hope rather than a reality.

So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.

You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.
Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above the price of rubies.
The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more than any qualification I ever earned.

So given a Time Turner, I would tell my 21-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a check-list of acquisition or achievement. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life, though you will meet many people of my age and older who confuse the two. Life is difficult, and complicated, and beyond anyone’s total control, and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes.

Now you might think that I chose my second theme, the importance of imagination, because of the part it played in rebuilding my life, but that is not wholly so. Though I personally will defend the value of bedtime stories to my last gasp, I have learned to value imagination in a much broader sense. Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and therefore the fount of all invention and innovation. In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, it is the power that enables us to empathise with humans whose experiences we have never shared.

One of the greatest formative experiences of my life preceded Harry Potter, though it informed much of what I subsequently wrote in those books. This revelation came in the form of one of my earliest day jobs. Though I was sloping off to write stories during my lunch hours, I paid the rent in my early 20s by working at the African research department at Amnesty International’s headquarters in London.
There in my little office I read hastily scribbled letters smuggled out of totalitarian regimes by men and women who were risking imprisonment to inform the outside world of what was happening to them. I saw photographs of those who had disappeared without trace, sent to Amnesty by their desperate families and friends. I read the testimony of torture victims and saw pictures of their injuries. I opened handwritten, eye-witness accounts of summary trials and executions, of kidnappings and rapes.

Many of my co-workers were ex-political prisoners, people who had been displaced from their homes, or fled into exile, because they had the temerity to speak against their governments. Visitors to our offices included those who had come to give information, or to try and find out what had happened to those they had left behind.
I shall never forget the African torture victim, a young man no older than I was at the time, who had become mentally ill after all he had endured in his homeland. He trembled uncontrollably as he spoke into a video camera about the brutality inflicted upon him. He was a foot taller than I was, and seemed as fragile as a child. I was given the job of escorting him back to the Underground Station afterwards, and this man whose life had been shattered by cruelty took my hand with exquisite courtesy, and wished me future happiness.

And as long as I live I shall remember walking along an empty corridor and suddenly hearing, from behind a closed door, a scream of pain and horror such as I have never heard since. The door opened, and the researcher poked out her head and told me to run and make a hot drink for the young man sitting with her. She had just had to give him the news that in retaliation for his own outspokenness against his country’s regime, his mother had been seized and executed.

Every day of my working week in my early 20s I was reminded how incredibly fortunate I was, to live in a country with a democratically elected government, where legal representation and a public trial were the rights of everyone.

Every day, I saw more evidence about the evils humankind will inflict on their fellow humans, to gain or maintain power. I began to have nightmares, literal nightmares, about some of the things I saw, heard, and read.

And yet I also learned more about human goodness at Amnesty International than I had ever known before.

Amnesty mobilises thousands of people who have never been tortured or imprisoned for their beliefs to act on behalf of those who have. The power of human empathy, leading to collective action, saves lives, and frees prisoners. Ordinary people, whose personal well-being and security are assured, join together in huge numbers to save people they do not know, and will never meet. My small participation in that process was one of the most humbling and inspiring experiences of my life.

Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand, without having experienced. They can think themselves into other people’s places.
Of course, this is a power, like my brand of fictional magic, that is morally neutral. One might use such an ability to manipulate, or control, just as much as to understand or sympathise.

And many prefer not to exercise their imaginations at all. They choose to remain comfortably within the bounds of their own experience, never troubling to wonder how it would feel to have been born other than they are. They can refuse to hear screams or to peer inside cages; they can close their minds and hearts to any suffering that does not touch them personally; they can refuse to know.

I might be tempted to envy people who can live that way, except that I do not think they have any fewer nightmares than I do. Choosing to live in narrow spaces leads to a form of mental agoraphobia, and that brings its own terrors. I think the wilfully unimaginative see more monsters. They are often more afraid.

What is more, those who choose not to empathise enable real monsters. For without ever committing an act of outright evil ourselves, we collude with it, through our own apathy.

One of the many things I learned at the end of that Classics corridor down which I ventured at the age of 18, in search of something I could not then define, was this, written by the Greek author Plutarch: What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.

That is an astonishing statement and yet proven a thousand times every day of our lives. It expresses, in part, our inescapable connection with the outside world, the fact that we touch other people’s lives simply by existing.

But how much more are you, Harvard graduates of 2008, likely to touch other people’s lives? Your intelligence, your capacity for hard work, the education you have earned and received, give you unique status, and unique responsibilities. Even your nationality sets you apart. The great majority of you belong to the world’s only remaining superpower. The way you vote, the way you live, the way you protest, the pressure you bring to bear on your government, has an impact way beyond your borders. That is your privilege, and your burden.

If you choose to use your status and influence to raise your voice on behalf of those who have no voice; if you choose to identify not only with the powerful, but with the powerless; if you retain the ability to imagine yourself into the lives of those who do not have your advantages, then it will not only be your proud families who celebrate your existence, but thousands and millions of people whose reality you have helped change. We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.

I am nearly finished. I have one last hope for you, which is something that I already had at 21. The friends with whom I sat on graduation day have been my friends for life. They are my children’s godparents, the people to whom I’ve been able to turn in times of trouble, people who have been kind enough not to sue me when I took their names for Death Eaters. At our graduation we were bound by enormous affection, by our shared experience of a time that could never come again, and, of course, by the knowledge that we held certain photographic evidence that would be exceptionally valuable if any of us ran for Prime Minister.

So today, I wish you nothing better than similar friendships. And tomorrow, I hope that even if you remember not a single word of mine, you remember those of Seneca, another of those old Romans I met when I fled down the Classics corridor, in retreat from career ladders, in search of ancient wisdom:As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.I wish you all very good lives.Thank you very much.


source: harvard magazine

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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

first giveaway - win a set of cards + letterpress workshop



hello friends. this post may be a little long, only because there is so much to tell you. we enjoyed our workshop on sunday so much. having our brunch at the palmerston was so convenient because it was literally a few seconds away from bookhou.
now bookhou i have only seen in pictures, but seeing it in person was just amazing. and it was such a beautiful sunday morning too that the sunlight seemed to make the entire store glow. i loved everything about it: the "gallery feel", the products, arounna's work/craft space, the artwork.

after giving us a quick tour around the store and a brief intro on the letterpress, we got down to business. we showed her the paper that we had brought. for those who are going to be doing letterpress workshops in the future, woolfitts is having a sale till first week of february i believe. john and i bought a package of gigantic sheets of canson paper which is perfect for letterpress for 99 cents each or $24 for 24 sheets.


without a proper paper trimmer/cutter (anyone know where i can get one for a good price?) it took me hours to cut up the paper using a utility knife (yes, i cringe too). i rounded out the edges and they didn't look so bad. still, i wish they came out a little cleaner on the sides. setting up the press was the most time consuming part (kinda like cutting out patterns and prepping your sewing), just because you want to make sure that everything looks good and spelled correctly! harhar. we had a few spelling mistakes.
all the illustrations are hand drawn by john and arounna got the plates made for us for a fee. aren't they nice? and they're not bad framed!







so as you can tell, we kinda got a little carried way. which means that we have quite a few to give away! we are giving away:
* your choice of moleskine cahier and 1 card/print - choose from leica, yahica and holga (graphing paper moleskine) and choose from the 6 cards
* the camera card set - set of three cards with the leica, yashica and holga, 5x5
* the random objects card set- set of three cards with the umbrella, cupcake and teabag
what must you do?
all you have to do is leave a comment before midnight of sunday, january 17 and let us know what you would like to receive. to make it fair, no facebook comments please! friends, if you are reading this from facebook you must comment on my blog. we will randomly select three lucky commenters and announce the winners on monday, january 18, 10:00 AM. this is the first time i'm ever doing a giveaway, so if something doesn't make sense, don't hesitate to email.
this workshop was the little push that john and i needed to really get on with planning our own etsy store. it is something that we have always wanted to do but we have always been too scared to start. so hello etsy, watch out for us! :)
have a good day everyone!

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Friday, April 17, 2009

giveaways+hello weekend


i haven't been signing onto my blogger. and when i did today, i found that two of my favorite reads are doing a giveaway! they all end today, but you still have time! :)
+karyn is giving away a copy of uppercase magazine to two lucky readers.

+ the lovely anabela of fieldguided is giving away a copy of lula!



today should be a lovely day. a whopping 19 degrees! :)

tonight, to celebrate my siblings' birthdays, angela & al-jo&i are staying overnight at the fairmont royal york hotel. not sure what we're going to do tonight yet, but it will definitely involve lots of food.

i hope everyone has a gorgeous weekend!

ps: i found a polaroid one step camera on craigslist...i hope that it still works. i'm going to see it today.

pps: i am thisclose to buying a canon rebel xs, 10.1 mp. i hope hope hope that it all works out. it's secondhand, but i'm sure it was loved.

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Thursday, October 23, 2008

crafty space #4

happy thursday!
i'm sure that most of you who love to craft and make things have been to alicia paulson's blog. can i tell you how in love i am with:
- the things that she makes
- her photos
- her lifestyle
and how i am very, very much in love with her studio?

i chanced upon her blog probably two years ago, waaaay before i started making things. and ever since then i have been drooling over (ack, not a pretty picture, but you get the idea) her lovely space. alicia kindly gave me permission to share some of her pictures from here.


notice the audrey hepburn picture! :)
yummy, yummy, yummy.



i love the doors, the brightness of the space, its whimsiness, the color of the walls, and how it leads to the garden.
sigh. one day, mel. one day. when my crafting gets pretty serious.
but for now, i'm satisfied with my desk in my room.
what do you love or not like about your working space? it doesn't necessarily have to be for crafting. it could be your homework/study/etc space too :) i'd love to know! :)

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Thursday, October 16, 2008

crafty space #3

happy thursday everyone :)

oohhhh so last thursday, i talked about crafty spaces that i really like. i've decided to do the same today :)

on tuesday night, john and i went to the workroom's one year anniversary.
there were prizes that were being given away...and i am the lucky winner of a $100 class card at the workroom!!!

please excuse the blurry quality, the dorkiness, and the size of my nose in this picture. but off to the right are the shelves of fat quarters. so juicy!

i just can't stop gushing about the workroom because it is one of my favorite places to be in.
i had always wanted to learn how to use the sewing machine so i could make things and sew my own clothes (i thought it would be the best way to save some money and have things fit me well). when i first searched for sewing classes in toronto over a year ago, nothing came up on google that interested me. they were either too pricey or just not appealing. then this year, after finally being done and over my undergrad (i now have more time to do things!), i googled it again and this time i found the workroom.

it's owned by the very talented and creative karyn, and it's a cozy place where you can sew by the hour (with sergers and the much coveted berninas!), make things (they have a gocco printer and laser cutter!) and take classes (there's always cold iced tea and jar of cookies waiting). it's oozing with warmth and the most beautiful (picked by karyn) selection of fabrics - amy butler, kokka, echino, denyse schmidt, and more.


isn't it all so yummy? it's art in shelves.

anyway, the event was a lot of fun! it felt like a wine and cheese party because karyn had a nice spread of cheeses and crackers and wine. there were also vegan cupcakes, of which, i must admit, i had four :)
(of course i couldn't leave without buying any fabric. i bought three meters of canvas to make totes with and four fat quarters.)

so, if you like crafting, or sewing, or quilting, or if you just like pretty things, or want to learn how to sew, you must visit the workroom. you'll love it, i promise! :)

the workroom
1340 queen street west
toronto, ontario M6K 1L4
416 534 5305

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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

i'm a myth buster but all is well.

so today i had an interview.
it's for a higher level position.
it was very nerve racking for me because i want this job sosososo badly.

if i get it, then i will definitely blog about it :) but for now, i'll just be quiet about it so that i don't jinx it.

*

on sunday, my 10 year old sister helped me bake cupcakes and we got to talking about the book that she's reading, one of the lemony snicket books.
unwittingly i told her that lemony is a pseudonym.
and to make matters worse, i told her that lemony isn't real.
angeli: "BUT how about the guy in the movie??? that was lemony!"
me (oh evil sister): "uh, no angeli. that was jude law."

it's like telling someone who ardently believes in santa that he isn't real.
i asked her if she was disappointed that he isn't real.
"slightly," she said. "but it's okay. i don't want to be 60 and still believe that he's real".
oh angeli.

has this ever happened to you, i'd love to know!

*

nothing's worse than having such a nerve wracking day and coming home to a really big, fat phone bill.
augh.
but this immediately got remedied by two other things that came in the mail:
my monthly magazine from saveur and the fabric i ordered from matatabi!
my saveur subscription was a christmas present from my best friend, aileen, since she knows that i love cooking and food.
what i like about this particular magazine is that it is very worldly. this has got to be my favorite issue yet. it's on breakfast food (which is my favorite meal and my favorite kind of food!) and it shows the different breakfast foods all over the world.







i am definitely trying one of their recipes.
what is your favorite breakfast food, i'd love to know!

frances of matatabi is awesome. :) everything about the package, despite its size, was done in such a dainty way. thank you, frances! they're awesome!
i have to use them carefully, according to my mother.




trying out the stamp set john gave me. and i love shipping tags.


ah, paris.






sweetness...i'm planning to use them for throw pillows for the bed.


this is the fat quarter that i got for free. it is so adorable. if you spend $40 (excl. shipping) you will get a mystery fat quarter.

and that isallisall.

have a beautiful evening :)

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Sunday, July 13, 2008

packing and other things.

augh. kill me.
i hate packing.
i have to pack 3 years' accumulation of stuff. so far i have packed 1/8 of my room in two boxes. those are just my books. the real feat will be the the closet.



after much deliberation, i have decided that this will be the color scheme for my new room. inspired by peonies, tiffany boxes, my h&m layered top and the green club monaco shirred skirt.










no no. this is not a poser pic. it's the shirt that i made thursday night, which i've worn twice already.
two things: i really should hem (but too lazy to do so...i wish i owned a serger! that's next on my list after an ice cream maker) and ruffles are easy to make...i just need to remember to kno the threads...they're coming a bit undone now. but for a beginner shirt, not bad at all! i'll be sewing up another shirt and a skirt pretty soon.


it's taking me 15 minutes to dry my hair now...which means that my hair is growing out! woohoo...

yesterday i made some pouches at the workroom. this is one of them. i'm planning to make some as christmas presents.


sigh. i aspire to be karyn who makes her own ice cream. haha. i have yet to try the ice cream recipes in my nigella cookbook. my birthday's coming up, however...i can put that request in hehe.

yesterday was a lovely day. i had a spinach and cheese croissant and a cup of coffee. it was truly a la holly golightly/audrey, although she was having breakfast at tiffany's and i was having mine on a streetcar. afterwards i just walked along queen street west, perused the stores, but found nothing that i really liked. i did buy some new fabric and insane amounts of zippers and bias tape. i came home with things for john, but none for me, which is fine. i find that now that i've been sewing and thrifting, nothing really appeals to me anymore. i am dying to sew my own clothes from patterns.
anyhoo, it was nice to be by myself and not be in such a hurry. i had wanted to sit in a cafe and eat a nice plate of salad and nuts and cheese with fruit, but the weather wasn't very cooperative.
speaking of food, if one day you find yourself dessert-less, but with a box of vanilla ice cream, some bread and nutella and strawberry jam, you could do an improvised, deconstructed poor man's version of a napoleon:


1. toast bread.
2. butter bread.
3. flatten bread with a rolling pin or your hand if feeling lazy.
4. nutella the slices up.
5. jam up the other slices.
6. cut in squares.
7. layer them alternately .
8. top with creme glacee in vanille flavor.
as bizarre as it sounds, trust me, it's really good. it will definitely satisfy your craving for something sweet. this is definitely a melissa original...whowould'vethunk? bread and ice cream at the same time. haha.

my birthday wish list:
1. an ice cream maker
2. a cuisinart or kitchen aid mixer
3. a vintage typewriter
4. loads of vintage and japanese fabric
5. stamps and ink pads
6. antique perfume bottles
7. a bouquet of flowers
8. another class at the workroom
9. a serger
10. a chandelier for my room
11. sewing books and sewing patterns

anyhoo...must get on now with packing.
sitting amidst strewn clothes and papers and books gets exhausting after a while.

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