"it's when you put a pencil in your hand and put the pencil to a paper and you just start writing...you don't think about what you're writing...you don't read over what you're writing...you just keep your hand moving."
boy, what could you be doing right now? my future best friend. who could you be? are you sleeping? are you studying? are you looking for me too? are you waiting just as patiently and impatiently as i am?
the moon sees both of us and nods. all will be right with the world in no time, it says. ah moon. it is all just fitting.
splendid. i must say that i am dying for a rasp of jello smothered with hot chocolate. it is a cool night and autumn's breeze is under the galley while we fret as fretters for lost love and the moon frowns. alas we cannot have all. some of us have to wait forever and they won't ever find the treasure they've buried or the seed they've planted. although it is itching to grow it will be plantless as the fig tree was fruitless and it will be damned and cursed for just plainly existing.
you stand unhappily by the cliffs of crashing waves, melodious and untimely it calls you so you can jump, lapping up the heavens and you sigh a thousand sighs over your breakfast croissant with your coffee spilling over the stiff white linen of the sands of the beaches. you sit on a checkered mat draping yourself across the inlet and you dazzle everyone that sees you sprawled underneath the sun like a bronze coin ready to be picked up and you do not wait to be spent. but my goodness what a life of sadness. waiting for the figure in the setting sun horizon to come closer and closer until it's no longer just a silhouette but an embrace, a passionate kiss. until it's happiness you've found again. now, yes, tuck it away. keept it in the box. and make sure it is its own lock and key. make yourself at home. lock yourself in and imprison yourself in my heart.
did you forget or did you remember but just didn't care?
you are unreedemable.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
free-writing.
Friday, September 9, 2005
"if you've got five real friends, you've lead a good life"
according to ralph waldo emerson, "it is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them". and i've got just that, old friends because i've known them for quite a while, and friends that i haven't known long but feel as if we are the oldest and dearest of friends. and mind you, i've had my share of "mel moments", infamously pegged as "stupid thing mel said/did #___".
but since the summer's coming to an end and school has begun, i felt the need to look back on the summer that just passed and reflect on it...as nerdy as that sounds. i must declare this summer as the bestest one so far. i must admit that it came to a rocky and doubtful beginning, but as the summer progressed it became better and better, and it became necessary to capture them all. in society's present standards (and i say this with much sarcasm), my friends and i must be boring and so loser-ish, as what we do when we get together has been called before.
but our methods of "partying it up" are quite different from those of our contemporaries. sure we get drunk and high, but au naturel. conversations on the ttc, walks to the center, cranium, phone conversations, sit down dinners, interesting and mind-boggling conversations, movie themed nights, late night movies, the perusing of chapters, starbucks runs, timmy's runs, seeing friends from school, to name a few, are just some of my summer's highlights. yes, i've stared out the window oftentimes and wish i was somewhere else, basking underneath another country's sun, but in an instant, it would fleet away. home is what you make of it, and my friends have become the intricate stitches that have kept me grounded and sane. one doesn't realize the importance of friendship once it's gone, but i'm glad i never had to go through that. i guess what really made this summer more special and the best ever was because i realized over and over again how empowering and beautiful true friendship is.
Saturday, September 3, 2005
that's enough.
some romantics are humans of contradiction. they know what they want and yet they want what they shouldn't. they know the truth but they choose to imagine and live in an illusory, fantasy world, where everything disappears in one touch, where love is a sugarcoated pill ready to poison whoever is stupid enough to swallow it, foolishly taking it as a panacea for their loneliness and sadness.
they are architects of castles in the air, chasing dreams that lead to the end of the cliff. in their minds they can transform just about anyone in the name of love, but in reality man cannot be induced to change- man only changes for himself. everywhere they go these visionaries constantly need validation, leading an existence so dependent on affection and praise.
ah, to be able to take the mind and just shake it around once and a while to get the idea of love right. back when we were children, when love was just a thing in movies. when love was although inexplicable, it was sure. when love was still something we couldn't wait to experience. when love was something you would only say before you go to bed to your parents. something you couldn't wait to say. but now it's something you'd like to take back, something you'd like to say but can't...it's something you'd like to give away again.
