hello friends!
it was such a beautiful, warm weekend. the aunt and uncles are here, it's full house and i'm loving it.
Showing posts with label some moonshine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label some moonshine. Show all posts
Sunday, November 8, 2009
a day at the farm
Sunday, October 18, 2009
japan sushi+high park
a bento box from japan sushi has become a saturday ritual. if only they had those stamp cards. like, "buy 5 get a 6th meal free".
$6.99 for a bento box that includes 4 sushi rolls, 6 tempura pieces, salmon teriyaki (or beef or pork or gyoza), rice, salad, noodles & soup. so good.
japan sushi
482 bloor street west
after lunch, john and i went to high park. it was the first time in many years that i've been thisclose to nature. nature meaning bugs, really really tall trees and dirt paths.
teehee i also saw lots of mallard ducks. it reminded me so much of make way for ducklings.
high park
take the train west (green line) and get off at high park.
and follow the people. normally with cameras or picnic baskets.
i hope everyone had a great weekend.
ps: i finally got my 50 mm lens and i am SO happy with it!
pps: the slr still frustrates me though. i really should read the manual.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
sometimes bad days can be fruitful
sigh.
it's just one of those days when you just want to climb into a hole and never come out again. or those days when you want to eat and eat and eat until you feel better. or buy something so extragavant. or run for a long long long time until you've forgotten about everything momentarily.
i feel so small. and 17 again, back when i started my first job in the real world and went home and i cried (yes i'm a crybaby) and swore i'd never go back again but did. and now, it's been almost a year but there's no sign of progress and just a whole lot of effing up. and you're supposed to find some kind of life lesson from all this.
yes i know i will.
later on i'll look back and see that it wasn't such a big deal and that everything turned out fine anway. yes, these things give you backbone, they help you grow up, but dammit it's hard. no mother to hold your hand or anyone else to make you feel better. it's all really up to you and how you're going to deal with it.
so i had a good cry during lunch, ate fries and bought a Nikon D60. no it wasn't an impulse buy. but it did make me feel a little better.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
hello :)
in point form:
- i am home!
- i've been home since last monday. harhar.
- i finished my box of laduree macarons. sob.
- they were a bit crunchy. but that's what you get for waiting till the last minute.
- i think may is my month because i can cross off a lot of things in my "to do list" which includes: paris, public speaking and seeing elton john this saturday!
- i gave a 15 minute speech to 150 people and it was warmly received. :)
- can i tell you how nervous and scared i was?!?!
- but it was not so bad once i started speaking. it's really in the beginning. just like the scariest part of your rollercoaster ride is just before you drop. hmmm...kinda like love. haha.
- i think i will make it a point to go to wonderland this year. i haven't gone in ages.
- can i tell you how much i love taylor swift?
- there i said it.
- i think writing when you are partially (and just partially) inebriated makes for good reading
- no, i'm not partially inebriated right now. i don't drunk-blog.
- or drunk-anything for that matter.
- "la timidité est mon ennemi" - that is my french teacher's motto in our french conversation class
- oooohhh, i will scan the paris polaroids soon. :)
- paris, i miss you.
- but toronto i still love you.
- friends, let's go out.
- how are you all?
Sunday, August 24, 2008
going solo.
last week i decided that i needed some time on my own. i decided to do it yesterday. i woke up and almost chickened out. going to downtown with the purpose of just walking aimlessly by myself is never something i have done. in the end it was really...rewarding. haha.
for so many years now, i have been living my life in a sort of rush. there's always something to do, an errand to run, a lesson or an appointment to go to, places and people to see. downtown may have the fastest walkers...just exiting union station alone is a speed walking marathon. i'm afraid i've become one of them: zombies who cross streets with oncoming traffic just to get to work.
yesterday as i walked on king street, i had to remind myself to slow down and take in everything. the beauty in being by yourself is that you can you hop in and out of any store as you wish, dictate your own schedule, and not to be forced to keep up a conversation. sometimes you just don't want to talk.
a giant mushroom that i almost didn't see. imagine that.
i didn't get to downtown as early as i had wanted. which is fine though because it saved me money from having to buy breakfast. so i splurged a little with lunch. i discovered gilead cafe when researching on cafes to eat in. hidden away in king street west, this is a new addition to jamie kennedy's line of restaurants (reminds me of oliver and bonacini).
the cafe was simplistic, linoleum tabletops, speckled floors. you order from a chalkboard on the wall and the servers call your name to pick up your food. but the walls are lined with shelves of jars of vegetables in brine. the bathroom was quite lovely too...to me a venue can be simple as long as the bathroom is nice.
it was a very satisfying meal. i didn't get dessert (although they have a nice selection of pastries, which i will try next time)
when i got out i realized that i was very close to the distillery.
i decided to check out buskerfest. on my way there i saw lots of street sales. one of the vendors had some enzo anglioni shoes but unfortunately were size 6. :( oh well.
buskerfest was totally crazy...i didn't stay too long. i don't like crowds. i was, however, able to buy a tablecloth which i will use for fabric to make more padfol!ios.
something i've never done before as well was go see a movie by myself.
i decided to go watch tuya's marriage. it made me cry. for those who love foreign movies, this is something you should see. it was nice to see that i wasn't the only one who went solo.
afterwards i walked to h&m and almost bought dresses that weren't even my size. i had to remind myself that i don't have the time nor the expertise to alter them myself. so i had to limit myself to one (which actually fits!). i got it for 70% off and am very pleased with it. i went to fabricland and found some plaid and wool fabric. i have patterns for coats which i would like to get started on before autumn officially starts.
of course i couldn't forget harbourfront. i was feeling a little tired already so i just sat and wrote more on a picnic table which overlooked the lake.
a very brave bird.
i walked back to bce place to get ready for a night out with the girls. haha. after a day being on your own it's nice to end it with a social gathering.
(we're orange like oompa loompas...the color tone of my camera was set to warm. argh)
we went to milestones (on dundas and yonge...this milestones is awesome, by the way) for a party. by 9:30 i was already so tired. is it a sign of old age? we left around 10:30 after they served the cake. but hungry stomachs required more food so went to mcdonald's on yonge. time flies by so quickly when you're having a lot of fun. i didn't get home till past 1 in the morning. this is normal to most people out there, but for me it isn't. parents shouldn't have to ground 23 year olds anymore, but my parents are a special case. dammit.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
un tas de conneries
i must do something about this 5x3 confinement i find myself in.
sometimes i feel that i'm all to blame for being where i am right now.
i haven't been very brave at all.
and nothing justifies my staying here anymore. and when i make an attempt to do so i secretly blush knowing full well that my listener is buying none of it. i don't even believe in what i say because deep down this is not where i want to be.
i've gotten too comfortable. i need change. i need to be someplace else. so that i don't feel so dead in the inside.
or maybe it's just hormones.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
things i learned today.
(okay, yeah i said that i was going to take a break, but i can't)
1. there is no such thing as an organized mess: it's easier to work in your room when it's pretty and clean. it really helps when it's tidy...you think much better.
2. heating up a pizza pop (pop, not pocket) for a minute and then heating it again afterwards for another minute produces better results than heating it up for a full two minutes. the cheese doesn't explode all over the plate.
3. professor berube is adorable when given simple things like chocolate. he blushes like a tomato. so cute!
4. it's better to keep quiet when your mother is mad. :D
5. it's best to not ask for everyone's opinion regarding your essay or you will feel lost and screwed afterwards.
6. that viva pink takes fricking long and that after 8:13 am they discontinue their green bus. ARGH.
7. the "brekwich" breakfast sandwiches at coffee time (at selected branches) are pretty good and very filling. i had one at 10 am and didn't need to eat again until 4 in the afternoon.
8. that the girls in my class are not catty and that they're actually nice. which brings me to the next point...
9. i should really stop judging people. girls in particular. boys are not bad. i get along with them just fine. sometimes girls can be soooo............augh.
10. that having a crucifix in front of you really helps a lot when you need to get your work done.
Monday, February 18, 2008
nothing, nothing at all.
aujourd'hui c'est family day mais les parents sont en train de partir pour un service funèbre.
jason m'a enseigné à utiliser le macro-mode de mon appareil photo. pas mal, non?
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
the next side is just too far.
This is a great poem.
How I suffer!
How I suffer!
How I suffer!
This is a great poem
Full of true emotion.
-- Gavin Ewart
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
do you remember? yes, yes you do.
-"oui?"
-"Thomas, listen!"
-"Francine?"
-"Listen!
Parfois, la vie exige un changement. une transition. comme les saisons. On a eu un printemps merveileux, mais l'été est fini et nous avons manqué l'automne. Tout d'un coup, il fait froid, si froid que tout se met à geler. Notre amour s'est endormi et la neige l'a pris par surprise. Et si tu t'endors dans le neige, tu ne sent pas la mort venir.Prends soin de toi' "
" Francine.Je m'en souviens exactement. c'était le 15 mai . Le printemps tardait, la pluie menacait, et tu criais. (..) Tu as quitté boston emménager à Paris, un petit appartement dans la rue du Faubourg Saint-Denis, je t'ai montré notre quartier, mes bars, mon école, je t'ai présenté à mes amis, mes parents. J'ai écouté les textes que tu répétais, tes chants, tes espoirs, tes désirs, ta musique. Tu écoutais la mienne, mon italien, mon allemand, mes bribes de russe. Je t'ai donné un walkman, tu m'as offert un oreiller et, un jour, tu m'as embrassé. Le temps passait, le temps fillait et tout paraissait si facile, libre, si simple si nouveau et si unique. On allait au cinéma, on allait danser, faire des courses, on riait, tu pleurais, on nageait, on fumait, on se rasait. De temps à autre tu criais, sans aucune raison, ou avec raison parfois, oui avec raison parfois. Je t'accompagnais au conservatoire je revisais mes examens, j'écoutais tes exercices de chant, tes espoirs, tes désirs, ta musique, tu écoutais la mienne. Nous étions proches, si proches, toujours plus proches. Nous allions au cinéma, nous allions nager, rions ensembles, tu criais, avec une raison parfois et parfois sans. Le temps passait, le temps fillait. Je t'accompagnais au conservatoire, je revisais mes examens, tu m'écoutais parler italien, allemand, russe, francais, je révisais mes examens, tu criais, parfois avec raison, le temps passait, le temps fillait, sans raison.. Tu criais, sans raison.. Je révisais mes examens, mes examens, mes examens, mes examens, le temps passait, tu criais, tu criais, tu criais.. J'allais au cinéma.
Pardonne moi Francine."
-"Thomas, listen!"
-"Francine?"
-"Listen!
Parfois, la vie exige un changement. une transition. comme les saisons. On a eu un printemps merveileux, mais l'été est fini et nous avons manqué l'automne. Tout d'un coup, il fait froid, si froid que tout se met à geler. Notre amour s'est endormi et la neige l'a pris par surprise. Et si tu t'endors dans le neige, tu ne sent pas la mort venir.Prends soin de toi' "
" Francine.Je m'en souviens exactement. c'était le 15 mai . Le printemps tardait, la pluie menacait, et tu criais. (..) Tu as quitté boston emménager à Paris, un petit appartement dans la rue du Faubourg Saint-Denis, je t'ai montré notre quartier, mes bars, mon école, je t'ai présenté à mes amis, mes parents. J'ai écouté les textes que tu répétais, tes chants, tes espoirs, tes désirs, ta musique. Tu écoutais la mienne, mon italien, mon allemand, mes bribes de russe. Je t'ai donné un walkman, tu m'as offert un oreiller et, un jour, tu m'as embrassé. Le temps passait, le temps fillait et tout paraissait si facile, libre, si simple si nouveau et si unique. On allait au cinéma, on allait danser, faire des courses, on riait, tu pleurais, on nageait, on fumait, on se rasait. De temps à autre tu criais, sans aucune raison, ou avec raison parfois, oui avec raison parfois. Je t'accompagnais au conservatoire je revisais mes examens, j'écoutais tes exercices de chant, tes espoirs, tes désirs, ta musique, tu écoutais la mienne. Nous étions proches, si proches, toujours plus proches. Nous allions au cinéma, nous allions nager, rions ensembles, tu criais, avec une raison parfois et parfois sans. Le temps passait, le temps fillait. Je t'accompagnais au conservatoire, je revisais mes examens, tu m'écoutais parler italien, allemand, russe, francais, je révisais mes examens, tu criais, parfois avec raison, le temps passait, le temps fillait, sans raison.. Tu criais, sans raison.. Je révisais mes examens, mes examens, mes examens, mes examens, le temps passait, tu criais, tu criais, tu criais.. J'allais au cinéma.
Pardonne moi Francine."
mais moi...je crie avec raison. tu me manques.
ceci est une transition douloureuse.
le coeur est brisé.
je peux écrire la poésie encore.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
in the penalty box.
the christmas songs are playing and the decorations are slowly finding their way to the front porch and the family room. there's a bucket of triple crown cookie dough in the freezer waiting to be baked and a tin of holiday cookie cutters just waiting for me and A to be broken in. in a week and a half my exams will be done and i will finally be a free woman. i have a semi to attend and to dress up for and a bunch of christmas gatherings and dinners lined up.
but somehow it seems more lonesome this year. i think that i may have gone backwards instead of forwards...and whatever i've learned this summer may have all gone to waste. it's easier for some people to say that it's just the idea that makes it different. the emotional detritus is finding its way back...the catch basin must be dextrosed to my arm. there's just no vulnerary remedy. and here i am making it worse by writing/typing away and masochistically renting loveydovey movies. i might just raid the fruit bowl.
Saturday, November 26, 2005
i, melissa.
i am misjudged quite often
but have just started to realize
the whole futility
of defending and vindicating myself.
this month is a month of reversion-
a regression to my old self:
my hand paralyzed in fear, unable to raise itself in class,
being my uncontrollable temperamental bitchy self
procrastinator and jack of all trades-
i leave things i have to do at the last minute
and do everything else i'm not supposed to perfectly.
there never seems to be anymore money left in my card,
where does it all go? you wonder.
but we know exactly where it goes.
in the closet and in the stomach.
staring out the window again or into space
waiting and expecting and dreaming.
a month of new discoveries-
my newfound appreciation for english drama
and for the playwrights who embraced their grief
and turned it into art
discovering the inner beauty of people
and the dull sheen of the gold in others
mr noodles as the veritable meal
for the struggling hungry university student
viva as the most comfortable bus and busride ever
capers are salty but really good
with smoked salmon omelette.
that my cat, no matter how much he wants to stay outside
will always come running back.
and that however much j'essaie d'oublier,
c'est impossible.
Friday, October 21, 2005
descriptive conjugation.
the moon spills its milk
in the dark
illuminating our intertwined fingers
until we're no longer just a sentence,
but the purest form,
the smallest meaningful unit,
no strings attached
an act of simple resonance
a morpheme.
Saturday, October 8, 2005
to the ones who cry.
i am a patch of green grass, you say.
trodded on but overlooked.
you are, but at least you are not squares of green, lush sod. so appealing but manufactured by the hundreds, a conveyor belt product of the milieu.
realistically artificial.
whereas you, the lone patch, rise up and grow towards the heat of the sun.
you beautify and glorify the vast barren dry. you go unnoticed but are significant.
and one day you will be found...
and that loneliness and preservation that you have undergone throughout your life will be cultivated.
love yourself, patch of green.
for it is through suffering that we find the artist within us,
it is through our loneliness that we become stronger,
and it is through these changes we become more beautiful,
and it is through this interior beauty we are found.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
free-writing.
"it's when you put a pencil in your hand and put the pencil to a paper and you just start writing...you don't think about what you're writing...you don't read over what you're writing...you just keep your hand moving."
boy, what could you be doing right now? my future best friend. who could you be? are you sleeping? are you studying? are you looking for me too? are you waiting just as patiently and impatiently as i am?
the moon sees both of us and nods. all will be right with the world in no time, it says. ah moon. it is all just fitting.
splendid. i must say that i am dying for a rasp of jello smothered with hot chocolate. it is a cool night and autumn's breeze is under the galley while we fret as fretters for lost love and the moon frowns. alas we cannot have all. some of us have to wait forever and they won't ever find the treasure they've buried or the seed they've planted. although it is itching to grow it will be plantless as the fig tree was fruitless and it will be damned and cursed for just plainly existing.
you stand unhappily by the cliffs of crashing waves, melodious and untimely it calls you so you can jump, lapping up the heavens and you sigh a thousand sighs over your breakfast croissant with your coffee spilling over the stiff white linen of the sands of the beaches. you sit on a checkered mat draping yourself across the inlet and you dazzle everyone that sees you sprawled underneath the sun like a bronze coin ready to be picked up and you do not wait to be spent. but my goodness what a life of sadness. waiting for the figure in the setting sun horizon to come closer and closer until it's no longer just a silhouette but an embrace, a passionate kiss. until it's happiness you've found again. now, yes, tuck it away. keept it in the box. and make sure it is its own lock and key. make yourself at home. lock yourself in and imprison yourself in my heart.
did you forget or did you remember but just didn't care?
you are unreedemable.
Saturday, September 3, 2005
that's enough.
some romantics are humans of contradiction. they know what they want and yet they want what they shouldn't. they know the truth but they choose to imagine and live in an illusory, fantasy world, where everything disappears in one touch, where love is a sugarcoated pill ready to poison whoever is stupid enough to swallow it, foolishly taking it as a panacea for their loneliness and sadness.
they are architects of castles in the air, chasing dreams that lead to the end of the cliff. in their minds they can transform just about anyone in the name of love, but in reality man cannot be induced to change- man only changes for himself. everywhere they go these visionaries constantly need validation, leading an existence so dependent on affection and praise.
ah, to be able to take the mind and just shake it around once and a while to get the idea of love right. back when we were children, when love was just a thing in movies. when love was although inexplicable, it was sure. when love was still something we couldn't wait to experience. when love was something you would only say before you go to bed to your parents. something you couldn't wait to say. but now it's something you'd like to take back, something you'd like to say but can't...it's something you'd like to give away again.
Friday, August 26, 2005
all aboard.
it must be the scenery passing by, the people walking in the streets, trying to figure out what they're thinking. it must be that girl in front of you, lighting up in pathological euphoria when she gets a call on her cell. it must be that guy beside you, looking out the window, so intense in his concentration- what or who could he be thinking of? it must be the couple just a few rows in the front- happy, having a serious conversation and once in a while the guy tweaks at the girl's nose. it must be that annoying exhibitionist in the back, going on and on with much gusto about how great his girlfriend is.
and so is the effect of the train...it makes you hate because you want what you don't and can't have. you come on board with no baggage at all, and you get off with a heavy ass one in your heart.
Friday, August 12, 2005
zit-ous compensation.
definiting zit-ous compensation:'zit E-&s "käm-p&n-'sA-sh&n
as a means of counteracting variation, some people stand on soap boxes, high up on their pedestals where they've proudly mounted themselves, with their noses high up, sniffing the air around them. they stand there pointing and punctuating, they cannot look in their own mirror of truth because they are afraid. because deep down, they see their own tangle of past and present mistakes.and seeing as they've dabbed that drop of foundation on their protuberant zit,they then resume to laugh at other people's faces.
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